when they tell me again about their meeting

I've suffered enough when they don't care about me again. so, "please don't tell me about your happiness when you attend meeting with him." that's only make me sick! why? they make me pretend faithfully to listen their story. "I've often used my poker face in front of you. you don't know, how often I try not to shed my tears in front of you. If you're happy with them, with him, with our group PLEASE don't tell me again. you already know, I've alienated with them. at least you know how I feel..."

'I hope my poker face is still there, when I met them' - my wish