Because I Could

"yes, because I could, although I don't want to stand alone without you. I want you have no doubts, just leave me even though it should be. honestly I'm not sure I would be able to remove all the pain. I will always stand for our love. but what's wrong with me? so I don't deserve to get your sincerity." -AM

come back with your eternal love

I don't think how you loved me. honestly, I did misjudged to you. please forgive me ...
 
I am a woman who was too afraid for the future of my household. I'm happy when you want a serious relationship with me. I remember when you said we would get married at the end of 2012. which women aren't happy when planning a wedding? we also have plans to make our dream house, we also have to prepare how much children we have in the future. 

Our promises and plans may be buried deeply. when you said to me, that you are not the best for me, and hopefully I can find a better man, I understand the way your mind. I cried all night, it's hurt. I don't know what  should I do. I'm disappointed, but I feel guilty, why? cause I rarely show how you're so precious to me. now I can only hope you'll come back, bring your warm smile, and the pledge of eternal love.

The decision of the Journey (English version)

I feel like at the end of a blind alley. no longer know what steps should I decide. This is torture of my mind, now I can only pretend to smile but my heart is crying. when I have to remove the mask of my life? I want to be free, but I know there is a price to pay. in this month there is a promotion at my job, I'm happy, but I need someone who hold me when I was weak. I'm also human, not forever I'm in the spirit. the fact there are currently some problems in my love life, not only that my family life as well. now my parents gave me the finer attention for me to find other jobs. It’s already a thousand times I still did not respond. now I want to try to focus on promotion at my job. but there are obstacles that come lay of me.

Today, I hear my fellow neighbor discussion meetings when they attend. to be honest I'm a little jealous, but I tried sincerely to what happened. I’m only smile. they seemed very happy after they attend their meetings ... after a long time I was bored listening to them. I finally decided to walk around my friend's house, for half an hour I walked around the complex. but I do not feel satisfied, my heart was still tormented, I want to walk further. I think I'd rather torture myself with exercise.

when returning home, I went straight to the front of the complex to continue my walk this afternoon. I'm not silent, but I was accompanied by my cell phone and the songs in my playlist. many people who greet me, but I ignore them. in the way I still like to find one answer. This leg feels very tired, I want to rest but I know, when I was comfortable, it will be difficult to start again. finally I decided to go on fatherly. That was not only pebble I passed, but a big hole, and a small street adjacent to a large trench. I can get through, I just need a little confidence that the road can be for I went through, and I need a balance so I do not fall into the ditch next to it.

after passing through the hole and the small street I saw a woman holding her child crying in the road verges. I woke up and I immediately checked my jacket pocket, it turns out there is the rest of my allowance, I forgot how much nominal, I just gave for the woman. very sad indeed to see it.

when i got home I thought about something I learned role in my  journey. in this world, surely we will face the problems, and we also have to be thanks to fellow human beings. there is no smooth path, as I told you, when I have to pass through the street, and a large hole. life is just like that, there is a problem which we must complete not to be regret. This is about how we want or do not pass the problem with strong conviction. and we also do not forget our the others who are less capable, we should be blessing to others. I learned from the begging woman, there are still people who are more difficult than I am. they have a very serious problem, but they would continue to struggle in their lives. from there I am determined, I have to be a successful person, and I will help the others who could not afford.

This life was a choice, there are winners and  there are also losers. I knew the winner was to make something happen, and losers let things happen. I must be a winner in life. Now, I know what I should do, finish what I started!

I NEED YOU

tonight I'm really lonely
These last weeks I was really scared
there is no definite story friend
I like being in the middle of a lie
I need a friend
I'm scared, really scared

You know when you're telling your problems
I hold a sense of all my problems
I really want to cry in your deepest hug
but I bear-resistant, because I need to be strong for my problems

I want you to have a little time for me
hear any problems and complaints in my life
but I know for now that's impossible
we are too busy, you and me

and bitterness, which always happens I always pretended to be in love in front of others
I NEED YOU ...