when i feel like i'm dead

everbody in this world must die. everyone knows it. lately I feel scared of death. any person of life, they will prepare for their death. their death would only bring their names, their science, their reward.
yes, I'm afraid of death. because I can't give to the world the best things I can give. I'm not yet makes people that i love happy, I also have to realize my dreams for the communities who are less fortunate neighbors. and one thing, there are still too many sins that I committed.

if i may ask to God "O God, please forgive me, i know i did to much sins in my life. and i also know, You're so Merciful. O Allah please give me much more time to become a better person. i know i'll die soon, but now i'm still nothing, i'm feel like a dust in the table. please give me time to do good in this world, and do/practice every verse in Quran. I love You more than anything in this world. teach me to Your Right Path. makes me your servant who always grateful for whatever You give. Amiin..."

sense of heart

I only have one body, one heart, one destiny. this time too much people push me, many who blamed me, accusing me of. to be honest I was sick, not my physical, but my soul. too many people are changing.
I'm alone to fight this feeling. I even forgot how to get up.
please don't force me to do things I don't like. don't also accuse me of things I didn't do. my heart is sick with all this. I'm afraid I will not have a sense of heart.

WHATEVER!!!

I  WAS TORTURED ABOUT ALL, AND I DON'T WANT SOMEONE ANYMORE!!!!!! I HATE MY DREAMS ABOUT YOU!!!! Y'ALL!!! Y'ALL ALWAYS PUSH ME HARD!!!JUST BLAME ME, BLAME ME!!!! IF Y'ALL HAPPY, BLAME ME UNTIL I BECOME WHAT I WANT!! AND YOU JUST HAVE LOOKED AT ME, NOT TOUCH ME!! BLAME UNTIL YOU DIE!!
I HOPE YOU HAPPY, WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! DON'T WISH AT ME ANYMORE!!!